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It
has always been hard for me to stick a label onto my
work. When I first began painting I would try to find
any way to label it other than “Christian”. I tried to
call it “symbolism”, I tested out “narrative”, and I
even went as shallow as “contemporary”. Whatever I
called it, I tried as hard as I could to keep the word
“Christ” out of it. It is a funny word; “Christ”. It
can bring crickets to any conversation, it can get eye
raises, and it can even change the way a person feels
about you. I knew that by using “Christian” to describe
my work I was pronouncing the codeword that many people
interpret as “perfect”, "lame", and "trite". In case you are unclear, I know
a lot of Christians…Christians from all over, Christians
that I like, and Christians that I don’t…a lot of them
share only one thing in common, and trust me when I tell
you that it is not perfection. Take me for example. I
was scared to tell people that my artwork was
“Christian” because I was fearful of being held
accountable. I didn’t want to be asked “How can you say
that and be a Christian?”, or “How can you feel that way
and be a Christian?” I have never liked microscopes;
especially when they are on me. It wasn’t that I was
ashamed of Christ; I was ashamed that I was not a better
example of His love or His teachings. From singing
songs in Sunday school, to taking my marriage vows,
Christ has always been a part of my life. I have made
more mistakes, been a bad example more times, and
ignored more chances to spread Christ’s message than I
can recount. Through all my sin and all my abandonment,
Christ has never left me. Yet, I was scared to tell
people the fact that as hard as I try, I will never be
the example of Christ that I hope. I was fearful to
express to them that under every layer of paint and
collage is the dire need to impart the Glory that is
Christ. I was afraid that I would get in the way of
them seeing God as the entire reason I have to paint. I
paint for imperfection. It is this imperfection of my
being and my work that I believe reflects the necessity
of Christ in my life. I am no longer scared to call my
work Christian. I feel blessed to be held under the
microscope because I think that it shows people that it
is in imperfection that Christ is allowed to make up for
what I lack.
My
work is a multidimensional layering of collage and paint
that is meant to come together as a story through
symbols and text. Just as our lives, I want my work to
be a mosaic of influences, references, and experiences
that always center around Christ. Each painting begins
as a scripture written on the blank canvas. As a child
my parents would allow my sisters and I to write
scripture on the walls of our rooms as our house was
being built. I still remember thinking about God’s word
surrounding me in every room of that house. I do this
as a symbolic foundation for each work as well as a
reference to Deuteronomy 6:7-9 where God says to write
scripture “on the doorframes and gates of your
houses.” On top of the scripture I build what I call
the “under painting” as a way for me to reference many
versions and aspects of the story that I am trying to
convey visually. After I construct this mixed media
collage of text and imagery I begin the actual painting
process. As an artist each step and process is very
important not only to the work, but to me as a form of
worship. From the study and
research that each piece requires, to the collage and
painting, each stride of the piece is a way I release
the work and glorify God.
So, to make it
short, the purpose of all of my work is to tell a story.
It is the on going tale of God; in all His craziness and
beauty, and the joy and challenges I meet in knowing
Him. Whatever the case, it is my hope that my work
conveys relevance and purpose every time someone starts
to piece it together. I consider myself lucky to
be a narrator of sorts; trying to assign words and
pictures to stories and experiences that will always
transcend my effort to re-tell them. |
